As an aspiring standup comedian, I often think about what it would be like to be incredibly successful. If I started to sell out stadiums, joke in front of large crowds, or write something truly insightful, I’d worry that I’d lose my edge, that I could never rest on my laurels.
I sometimes see myself in Debra Vance. She’s witty, brilliant, excellent, inappropriate, cruel, and insensitive. A workaholic, sometimes shimmering, often mistaken.
She scratches and claws her way to the top, and remains there for the low price of her relationships and her mental health. Her life is empty, but she reaches successfully for glory. Something that is left open for interpretation is whether she needs to be this way. Whether she has to be cutting to be on top.
I think her relationship with Ava is very interesting. Ava is a mentee, a rival, a friend, an enemy. Debra and Ava have in common a reactivity and a biting sense of humor. Debra knows how to eat crow, but both of them have a reactive nature that causes them to hurt each other often, even though it’s clear they care about each other.
I also see aspects of myself in Ava as well. She’s shot to the top and lost it all on the same thing, her sense of humor. Because she’s excellent, she hasn’t built her social skills and decorum. She looks for respect and love, and Debra just can’t give her respect in the way she needs. She lashes out, putting herself in the hot seat. Her ego is her own worst enemy. And, while she tries to do the right thing when she reconstitutes herself, she plays with dynamite to varying levels of respect. I understand why Debra is skeptical to see her as an equal, creating a vicious cycle.
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