The Valley of Despair

There’s an appealing idea behind letting go. When you release your wants, tension disappears, and the things you want gravitate toward you.

I don’t quite think it works in that way, in part because just giving up will not necessarily lead you to achieving your goals. Interestingly, while those who are the most successful seem to be able to detach most effectively from the small stuff, being able to do so is a lagging indicator.

Because you know that you’re able to succeed, the specific path doesn’t matter as much because there’s certainty that you’ll get there. Certainty requires experience.

This gets into the valley of despair. The unseen and uncomfortable part of success is falling below competency in pursuit of excellence. As you try what you aren’t sure works, as you step outside your comfort zone, you kinda suck for a while. It’s made worse by the knowledge that you have to try hard, and struggle. It frankly looks and feels pathetic, but it’s also unavoidable.

I think part of it is that you need to be aware of your major faults to rectify them. Focusing on the weaknesses in the short term is a recipe for pain and insecurity, even while in the long term it’s the key to building excellence.

Deliberate practice is a similar sort of deal. You get better over time, but you have to basically fixate on the small problems and optimizations you can improve and break things down to constituent parts.