Introduction: Encouragement and onboarding. This section aims to connect the dots between buying the book and approaching the content. This introduction aims to explain to the reader that the journey towards friendship is one that’ll take time.
So, you want in on this? In this section, I want to start by establishing who I am, how I’ve struggled with friendship in the past, and what I’ve learned. I’m going to talk about where I’m at now. This section will aim to primarily showcase that I’ve come out the other side, and I’ve learned stuff along the way. I too, can help you build the social and emotional skills.
Who I think you are. I want to be very deliberate about who I’m trying to reach with this book, neurodivergent and socially isolated young men who grew up in the internet age. I want to talk bluntly about some of the traps that they may have fallen into, and steps to build self-efficacy before moving forward. This section will detail how I want to approach this book.
Some Common Myths. In this section, I want to break down some of the unexamined myths about making friends that might be limiting you.
A self-assessment. In this section, I want to break down the types of emotional intelligence into categories, and have the person reading this book identify where they are most and least comfortable. The goal of this exercise is to get the reader to understand which areas they’ll get the most bang-for-their buck improving.
Goal-Setting. This next section is going to be a few of my essays tightened up about how SMART goals work, and why they should be essential to self-improvement protocols. This will power your ability to move forward in your journey. We’re going to talk about the importance of pain and pleasure in making goals and accountability partners
Leaving Your House. We’ll start the discussion about improving social skills by first brainstorming locations you can practice making small-talk at. We’re going to cover what makes small-talk comfortable, the appropriate distance to stand from people, and tools to build starter conversational skills.
Plenty of Fish in the Sea. Dealing with rejection when someone isn’t interested in talking to you. How to gracefully accept failure, and moving on.
The First Impression. This section will target more memorable conversations. We’ll discuss the importance of personal grooming, active listening, and a model focused on building conversational trust.
Relationship Building. Now you’ve identified someone that you’ve found interesting and you want to talk to. At this point, let’s go over how to invite someone to plans, and how to connect emotionally. This section is also aimed at teaching you some skills to help people feel noticed and understood.
Doing Incredible Shit. This section aims to talk about the importance of continuing to grow individually as you build your relationships with other people. Examples include trying standup comedy, writing a blog, traveling. We’re going to talk about strategies to push yourself onto higher planes of existence to be more present.
Finding a community that works for you. In this section, we’ll tackle strategies to find things that you enjoy to meet people who are similar to you.
Conflict Management. In this section, we’re going to cover how to deal with disagreements without ruining friendships. This was an area I was personally weak in, and I learned self-regulation and persuasion skills to change this dynamic of getting into a lot of conflicts, and cutting ties with people.
Keeping in Touch. Sometimes it can be challenging to keep in touch with friends who are far away. This will teach you how to not atrophy friendships that aren’t always close by.
Leadership. In this section, we’ll talk about starting things that you find valuable, and the importance of purpose.
Here are some topics I don’t intend on including in this book. I don’t intend on including these because A. I don’t think they are central to the areas I’m focused on. B. I can always write a second book. C. These problems are focused on different issues unrelated to making friends. D. Friendships can look different and I don’t want to tell people too much about what a friendship should look like.
- Self-Worth and Confidence
- Navigating the end of a friendship
- Pruning Friendships
- Vulnerability and the importance of doing it
- Too much abundance and people pleasing
- Social media being anti-social
- Deep empathy
- The importance of intimacy
- Stereotypes about male friendships in general
Isadore Johnson's Website 