idj4thinking

Social Skills Self-Assessment

“[Only] what gets measured, gets managed” – Peter Drucker One key tool that will help you in your friendship journey is self-assessment. The aim of this chapter is to provide a comprehensive self-assessment that identifies key areas of improvement. This exam stays between us, so please assess yourself honestly. It’s better to do so becauseContinue reading “Social Skills Self-Assessment”

Last Minute Project Issues

It’s a day before a big class project is due. The power goes out, leaving a team incapable of finishing the project. As a professor, should you take mercy on these poor students’ grades, or grant an extension? I think leniency, generally does your students a disservice. Choosing to complete work at the last minuteContinue reading “Last Minute Project Issues”

Can you have it all?

No. Life is full of tradeoffs of what you can and can’t do. Sometimes this puts you in a scenario where you’re choosing between consequential and not (ie, being on your phone versus going hiking), but life is full of decisions. I like playing flag football, but being an ll-American sports star is out ofContinue reading “Can you have it all?”

Rest, Rinse, Repeat?

When you think about the bare bones of life, it’s quite simple. If you have a place to stay, generally you need to rest, clean yourself, eat and drink water, you’re living. The idea of a life just doing that doesn’t seem especially appealing though, because as you do too much of the same thing,Continue reading “Rest, Rinse, Repeat?”

A Break For Your Scheduled Deprogramming

Surely you’ve noticed that there’s tons of ways you’re subtly pressured into being a specific type of person. You’re agreeable, unlikely to talk to strangers, and generally conformist. I don’t think this is a very good way to live. I think rather than being agreeable, it’s preferable to be disagreeable. This is because you canContinue reading “A Break For Your Scheduled Deprogramming”

Getting Out of The House

Not every social situation needs to be super intimidating. In fact, it’s probably better to build momentum by identifying areas where you are used to talking to people, and slowly pushing the edges of your comfort zone. To start, brainstorm places you would naturally feel comfortable. If you know things you enjoy doing that youContinue reading “Getting Out of The House”

Some Common Myths (about friendship)

Part of the reason that making friends in-person on the internet age is challenging is that the internet age lacks thoughtful moderation and synthesis. Anyone can have an opinion, any of the time, about anything. Unfortunately for us, there are more ways to be wrong than to be right. Worse, Hollywood, America’s royal family, seemsContinue reading “Some Common Myths (about friendship)”

Who I think you are

I’ve often been asked why this book is aimed at young men. “There are also loads of lonely women out there, wouldn’t you be able to reach more people by broadening the message?” Questions posed like this are often by people who’ve never thought about making friends in their life. One thing you’ll learn veryContinue reading “Who I think you are”

Doing Right By People

There are many entrepreneurial types who try to make a quick buck by draining other’s wallets rather than providing them a superior service. While it’s true that you can bamboozle some people into spending lots of money on what you are offering, unless you add value to their life, people tend to catch on, andContinue reading “Doing Right By People”

Embracing Rejection (Friendship)

You tried to spark a friendship, went out on a limb, and someone didn’t appreciate your efforts. Maybe you’re freaking out. You don’t do this often, and it stings. It was painful feeling snubbed. Perhaps this is further proof that you are incapable of friendships, that you’re irredeemable or unlovable. Jeff, or whatever his nameContinue reading “Embracing Rejection (Friendship)”