SOCIAL ANXIETY NO MORE

What fears have you overcome and how?

For a long time, I was super scared of expressing myself socially. Between having a best friend kill himself, a socially isolated childhood, and a deadbeat dad, I was ill-equipped to make friendships.

I started by intellectualizing this fear. I’m unable to function socially because I’m too smart for other people. This coping mechanism undermined my ability to make friends and left me in a state of fear. The fear of rejection, that I didn’t fit into a group was unrelenting and terrible. It was hard to open up when it felt like doing so was going to be just another wallop.

Going to therapy certainly helped, especially recognizing the anger I held at the world. If I kept having terrible things happen to me, and I felt like Job, minus the good life to begin with, I would never be able to recover.

Instead, I acknowledged how I felt, and met people with a calmer, less intense, less anxious energy. Over time, I started to empathize with others, learning that my emotions were like everyone else’s.

I’m still a little cognitively unique, but now I can rest on my relationships with others to put myself out there. I’m not really scared of making new friends, especially when you consider how exciting the world can be!