What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?
I am not the most trusting person. I often think that people are out to get you, especially in environments where it’s unclear what benefits they get from playing it straight.
As someone who’s read a lot of books on influencing other people, compliments tend to encourage people to let their guards down. I tend to zig where other people zag in that when someone tries to compliment me in a way that opens the opportunity to take advantage of me, I’m immediately skeptical.
One company I used to work for did this thing where it kept repeating how smart we were for taking this assessment and working there. However, if one assessed the situation objectively, we worked more hours for less pay, and the subtext is that smart other people might be more willing to replace us.
When someone tells me I’m smart, I don’t like it one bit. It feels like a disingenuous compliment, one that tries to control.
I sometimes try and counter that feeling by letting people win in non-consequential things against me. Maybe they correct me and I act sheepish. Thus, I keep my ability to think, with the knowledge that they’re secure in their edge, that they aren’t needing to be too careful.
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